Friday, February 9, 2007

Real people vs. Idiots

Today I tried to renew my student overdraft. I don't really use it that often, but it's nice to have for those "end of the month" moments.

So, I thought, I shall phone the bank's phone banking service; it will save me a tramp.

Oh, fool me. A tramp I should have undertaken, for it would have saved me much anguish and time.

First: I am bad at remembering security details. Cue 10 mins of resetting my security numbers.

Then, I get through to a person. Aha! Sense.

Or not. "I have to check with a manager about your overdraft".

"oh, okay".

Hold music... hurrah. Not Greensleeves. This is Good.

Then: TONETONETONETONE.


This is new. Much better than "hold muzak".

Oops. No, they just hung up on me.

Right. Dial again. REMEMBER NEW SECURITY CODE! YES! HURRAH!

"Hello. I was just in the process of renewing my Student account overdraft, when I got dropped by the phone. Can you help me?"

"No. You've been declined. You're not allowed an overdraft".

"But I have a student account. That's part of the deal"

"Sorry. You've been declined by a manager. I am just a paid monkey. You'll get no help from me, and there's no point asking anyone else because we all have the same information - which is to decline you"

"Well, can I speak to a manager?"

"They'll tell you exactly the same thing. We all hate you"

.... and so on ad infinitum.

So. I phone my local branch. Who are lovely, and tell me that anyone in a branch will help me, so I can go to the local one. When I do this, it takes 2 minutes, my overdraft is renewed, and I'm being told that the phoneline people are morons.

Why is this? I mean, each of these people had the same information available to them. Yet the people on the phone just refused to accept that I was entitled to something that I had signed up for in their own terms and conditions.

I guess the moral of the story is that trying to avoid a walk ends up costing you more time. Or something.

Grrr.